Thursday, November 5, 2009

Time is running and crawling

It is now 5 months since Gary left to be with Jesus. To answer my own question in my previous post - yes, it is getting easier - but only very slowly. Very slowly.

Yesterday we had J.O.Y. (Just Older Youth) I didn't want to go. I was writing an e-mail and at 1030 exactly something prompted me to stop. I started crying without being aware of the time. That was exactly the time when they turned of the oxygen 5 months ago. It is amazing. Every month on the 4th at 1030 AM I am re-living that moment. I was sitting by his bed, holding his hand crying and talking to him until after he was gone. It is still very much with me.

Around 1130AM I felt Gary telling me to get moving - JOY is starting and I am not dressed to go out. How can I resist the love of my life? I can't. So I went. It was good being with friends. It was out Thanksgiving celebration. When it came to say what we are thankful for - I couldn't speak. So I passed.

On a lighter note, I became a grandma last weekend. Jaymee was born at 1251 AM on November 01. Mother and daughter are doing fine. Father?? I am not so sure. When he called me, he was bouncing off the wall. Understandable, since it is his first.

1 comment:

Sandie said...

I think it's beautiful that your sweet husband is still with you. As you say, hopefully it will get easier over time. But how nice to feel he is with you to help you over the bumps along the way.