Thursday, November 5, 2009

Time is running and crawling

It is now 5 months since Gary left to be with Jesus. To answer my own question in my previous post - yes, it is getting easier - but only very slowly. Very slowly.

Yesterday we had J.O.Y. (Just Older Youth) I didn't want to go. I was writing an e-mail and at 1030 exactly something prompted me to stop. I started crying without being aware of the time. That was exactly the time when they turned of the oxygen 5 months ago. It is amazing. Every month on the 4th at 1030 AM I am re-living that moment. I was sitting by his bed, holding his hand crying and talking to him until after he was gone. It is still very much with me.

Around 1130AM I felt Gary telling me to get moving - JOY is starting and I am not dressed to go out. How can I resist the love of my life? I can't. So I went. It was good being with friends. It was out Thanksgiving celebration. When it came to say what we are thankful for - I couldn't speak. So I passed.

On a lighter note, I became a grandma last weekend. Jaymee was born at 1251 AM on November 01. Mother and daughter are doing fine. Father?? I am not so sure. When he called me, he was bouncing off the wall. Understandable, since it is his first.