8 months

Yesterday was the 8 month celebration of Gary's being pain free and leaving this earth to be with the Lord.

I went to JOY (Just Older Youth) in the morning and to Sizzler in the evening for dinner. Gary and I had several restaurants we loved to go to. The food was exceptional good and I told the manager so. Gary would have loved it. The steak was sooo tender. It was the best one yet.

As for my Etsy store - As of today I have 3 sales from my inventory and 2 custom orders with one custom order waiting in the wings. I am not sure, but I think, I need to get a business license. I will have to talk to my taxman about that. I have to remember to call him.

I am still talking to Gary every evening, telling him about my day. It sure helps me cope. I had his rings re-sized but I can't wear both wedding rings. They are either too wide or my finger is too short. So I am wearing his ring on my necklace together with my cross.

Etsy

Thank you all for your help and good wishes to get this thing off the ground. I had my first sale and I am working on 2 custom orders of circles and eyes.

I have decided to divide my time even between charity crafting and my Etsy store. Let's see how long this will work out. I am trying to post one new item every day or at least every other day. I can feel Gary's approval - but then again, he supported me in everything I did. He was a wonderful man. It is hard to grasp that he is gone over 7 months already.

I still miss you very much. I love you sweetheart.

I DID IT

Yes, I did it. I opened my Etsy Store. As of this minute I have only 1 item listed - but then again, I just started this afternoon. That will be my job - getting all my listing into the shop.

I can just see Gary sitting in heaven grinning - SHE FINALLY DID IT - YEAH !!!!! He always said I should sell my stuff. Thank you Sweetheart, I love you.

The name of my shop is: HilsGalsStitchins.etsy.com

Stop by and check it out. Please give me a chance to stock it first though. Opening Special is FREE SHIPPING within the USA.

2010?????

It really is 2010 - at least that's what the calendar says.

Yesterday was the 4th of January. To celebrate Gary's freedom we went to IHOP, our favorite breakfast place. I ordered, what we always did - Kitchen Sink and coffee. It is an omelet with everything but the kitchen sink in it - and it is good) We used to order it from the senior menu (smaller portions, smaller price) - but it is not on there anymore. So we just ordered it regular. I had a coupon 2 for 1 - We were even sitting in the same booth we were normally sitting. All of the sudden, the tears came. Without looking at the clock I knew that it was 10:30 - the time they disconnected the machines 7 months ago. I KNOW that eventual it will get better (at least I hope so) I can already go longer periods without crying, and then sometimes, I can't find an end. I miss Gary so very much. Talking to him every night helps.

I am getting ready to open my Etsy store. I've been crocheting up a storm so I can have some inventory. I still have not made friends with my sewing machine - that's still on the agenda. Soon.

I MADE IT

I survived Christmas, not without many tears mind you, but I did it. I have to admit that I lost it a few times though. Thursday's mail call was one of those times. I received a package from the funeral parlor - inside was a tree ornament with Gary's picture in. That did it. In my opinion, they went beyond the call of duty.

I didn't send out many Christmas Cards this year. I did it online and I included this poem:

My First Christmas in Heaven

I see the countless Christmas Trees, around the world below

With tiny lights like heaven’s stars, reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away your tears,

For I am sharing Christmas, with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs, that people hold so dear,

But the sounds of music can’t compare, with the Christmas choir here.

I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,

it’s far beyond description, to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me. I see the pain within your heart,

But I am not so far away. We really aren’t apart.

So be happy for me, loved ones. You know I hold you dear,

And be glad I’m spending Christmas, with Jesus Christ this year.

I send you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above.

I send you each a memory, of my undying love.

After all “love” is the gift, more precious than pure gold.

It was always most important, in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do,

For I can’t count the blessings, or the love He has for you.

So, have a Merry Christmas, and wipe away those tears,

For I am sharing Christmas, with Jesus Christ this year.

A good friend sent it one to me shortly after Gary's passing.

ONLY AND ALREADY

6 months today. Only and already. Time is still speeding and crawling. If someone would ask me, how I survived the last 6 months - I couldn't tell. I am on auto pilot. At times I am asking myself, what am I doing here? I want to be with Gary. It feels though like Gary tells me - not yet. You still have loads and loads to do, and he is right. If I look at my yarn and fabric, I will have to stick around until I am about 110+ years old. But I know he is with me in spirit. I will celebrate Gary's 6-month being pain free by going to the Liberty Quartet concert next Friday at the Nazarene Church. Gary loved the guys and their music. Southern gospel. Beautiful. And they are funny to boot.

I have almost completed my commitments to the Dream Center and to the Outreach Program. I will then take a break of about 2 weeks from charity crafting and make stuff for my Etsy store. I have a name already picked out and have 3 funky key-hole scarves ready. Not enough to open the store though. I am also "considering" renting a booth together with Nancy at the Octoberfest in Snowbird next August/September. We both are not sure though. The rent is $250 each and one has to sell a lot of things to make just the rent. Nancy has about 100 loomed hats ready. We will find out when the last possible day is to rent the booth and see how Nancy's health is doing. As I found out, a lot can change in a very short time.

Time is running and crawling

It is now 5 months since Gary left to be with Jesus. To answer my own question in my previous post - yes, it is getting easier - but only very slowly. Very slowly.

Yesterday we had J.O.Y. (Just Older Youth) I didn't want to go. I was writing an e-mail and at 1030 exactly something prompted me to stop. I started crying without being aware of the time. That was exactly the time when they turned of the oxygen 5 months ago. It is amazing. Every month on the 4th at 1030 AM I am re-living that moment. I was sitting by his bed, holding his hand crying and talking to him until after he was gone. It is still very much with me.

Around 1130AM I felt Gary telling me to get moving - JOY is starting and I am not dressed to go out. How can I resist the love of my life? I can't. So I went. It was good being with friends. It was out Thanksgiving celebration. When it came to say what we are thankful for - I couldn't speak. So I passed.

On a lighter note, I became a grandma last weekend. Jaymee was born at 1251 AM on November 01. Mother and daughter are doing fine. Father?? I am not so sure. When he called me, he was bouncing off the wall. Understandable, since it is his first.