I MADE IT

I survived Christmas, not without many tears mind you, but I did it. I have to admit that I lost it a few times though. Thursday's mail call was one of those times. I received a package from the funeral parlor - inside was a tree ornament with Gary's picture in. That did it. In my opinion, they went beyond the call of duty.

I didn't send out many Christmas Cards this year. I did it online and I included this poem:

My First Christmas in Heaven

I see the countless Christmas Trees, around the world below

With tiny lights like heaven’s stars, reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away your tears,

For I am sharing Christmas, with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs, that people hold so dear,

But the sounds of music can’t compare, with the Christmas choir here.

I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,

it’s far beyond description, to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me. I see the pain within your heart,

But I am not so far away. We really aren’t apart.

So be happy for me, loved ones. You know I hold you dear,

And be glad I’m spending Christmas, with Jesus Christ this year.

I send you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above.

I send you each a memory, of my undying love.

After all “love” is the gift, more precious than pure gold.

It was always most important, in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do,

For I can’t count the blessings, or the love He has for you.

So, have a Merry Christmas, and wipe away those tears,

For I am sharing Christmas, with Jesus Christ this year.

A good friend sent it one to me shortly after Gary's passing.

ONLY AND ALREADY

6 months today. Only and already. Time is still speeding and crawling. If someone would ask me, how I survived the last 6 months - I couldn't tell. I am on auto pilot. At times I am asking myself, what am I doing here? I want to be with Gary. It feels though like Gary tells me - not yet. You still have loads and loads to do, and he is right. If I look at my yarn and fabric, I will have to stick around until I am about 110+ years old. But I know he is with me in spirit. I will celebrate Gary's 6-month being pain free by going to the Liberty Quartet concert next Friday at the Nazarene Church. Gary loved the guys and their music. Southern gospel. Beautiful. And they are funny to boot.

I have almost completed my commitments to the Dream Center and to the Outreach Program. I will then take a break of about 2 weeks from charity crafting and make stuff for my Etsy store. I have a name already picked out and have 3 funky key-hole scarves ready. Not enough to open the store though. I am also "considering" renting a booth together with Nancy at the Octoberfest in Snowbird next August/September. We both are not sure though. The rent is $250 each and one has to sell a lot of things to make just the rent. Nancy has about 100 loomed hats ready. We will find out when the last possible day is to rent the booth and see how Nancy's health is doing. As I found out, a lot can change in a very short time.