Yesterday was the one-month anniversary of Gary's death. It was also Independence Day. I chose to celebrate it as Gary's independence from pain, oxygen and all other ailments. I had friends over and had a BBQ.
Slowly I am getting things settled. I have been procrastinating. I just couldn't bring myself to get things done. It is all so final. I am crying a lot and also laughing a lot.
Crying when I stumble over things that we did together or he said. For example - I was eating a peace of Dove chocolate. They are individually wrapped and have sayings in them. The one I had said: A smile is worth more than a dozen roses. We had that one before. Gary had said at that time - I have to wait until Tony comes home so we can go and get you a dozen roses. To which I replied - I don't want roses, I just want you and your smile.
Last night at dinner we were remembering a lot of the funny things Gary had done and said. I am glad, that not many people were home to complain about us being so loud.
I will never forget you my love.