Thursday, June 4, 2009

Goodbye My Love

I am stunned that the last entry is only 7 weeks old. A lot of things did happen in the meantime. On May 07 Gary went back into the hospital with excruciating back pain. He had several fractures in his back (Not a good thing) Because of the pain, he didn't breathe properly and ended up with yet another case of pneumonia. He was 3 weeks in ICU and I was told this time I might not get him home - WATCH ME !!!

They also said that the hospital stays will come in cycles and those cycles will get worse and closer together. The plan was to nurse him through this and then ask him how many cycles he will/can/is able to do. - I never got the chance. Gary passed away this morning at 10:45 - it was the hardest thing I had to do to take him off the machines. But I had to honor his wishes. He wouldn't want to live this way. He was existing, not living. We had spoken about this before. To hook him to the machines to get him better - YES. If that would be IT for the rest of his life - NO. It was very hard to do but thankfully, I was surrounded by
friends to and the Lord to see me through it.

He is now home with the Lord and having a party and a big family re-union. That doesn't alter the fact that I will miss him terrible. I was granted only 6 wonderful years with him. They were the best years though. Honey, I love you so very much and I'll miss you.


Loni said...

Oh Sweetie, my sympathies for your loss.

Sandie said...

Chris, you'll be in my thoughts and prayers for a long time to come as you deal with this loss. As someone said recently we rejoice for the one who's gone and cry for the ones who are left behind. But one sweet day there will be reunion.

Sandy said...

I so understand what you're talking about. Mom too made the decision that enough was enough. Preventing one's death is not the same thing as extending ones life.

What you did took real love, how brave you were.