Today was the memorial service for Gary. It was a sad, emotional and funny service. Sad because it kinda drove the point home, that Gary won't be coming back to me here on earth. Emotional because LOTS of people were saying the last good bye. Funny because some people shared some of the pranks Gary pulled during his time as well as some wonderful stories. I believe we had more than 50 people there.
Pastor Troy did a wonderful job. I would like to thank him for that as well as a thank you goes out to the ladies who served a lunch for family and close friends after.
The service brought me some kind of closure. Sweetheart, I miss you so very much. You KNEW that your days were numbered, that's why you had those talks with Tony. I am sure, I haven't heard about all of them, but it slipped that you asked Tony to look after me when you are gone. He is sticking to his word. Without Tony or Janean I wouldn't have been able to cope the way I did. Thank you both.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Goodbye My Love
I am stunned that the last entry is only 7 weeks old. A lot of things did happen in the meantime. On May 07 Gary went back into the hospital with excruciating back pain. He had several fractures in his back (Not a good thing) Because of the pain, he didn't breathe properly and ended up with yet another case of pneumonia. He was 3 weeks in ICU and I was told this time I might not get him home - WATCH ME !!!
They also said that the hospital stays will come in cycles and those cycles will get worse and closer together. The plan was to nurse him through this and then ask him how many cycles he will/can/is able to do. - I never got the chance. Gary passed away this morning at 10:45 - it was the hardest thing I had to do to take him off the machines. But I had to honor his wishes. He wouldn't want to live this way. He was existing, not living. We had spoken about this before. To hook him to the machines to get him better - YES. If that would be IT for the rest of his life - NO. It was very hard to do but thankfully, I was surrounded by friends to and the Lord to see me through it.
He is now home with the Lord and having a party and a big family re-union. That doesn't alter the fact that I will miss him terrible. I was granted only 6 wonderful years with him. They were the best years though. Honey, I love you so very much and I'll miss you.
They also said that the hospital stays will come in cycles and those cycles will get worse and closer together. The plan was to nurse him through this and then ask him how many cycles he will/can/is able to do. - I never got the chance. Gary passed away this morning at 10:45 - it was the hardest thing I had to do to take him off the machines. But I had to honor his wishes. He wouldn't want to live this way. He was existing, not living. We had spoken about this before. To hook him to the machines to get him better - YES. If that would be IT for the rest of his life - NO. It was very hard to do but thankfully, I was surrounded by friends to and the Lord to see me through it.
He is now home with the Lord and having a party and a big family re-union. That doesn't alter the fact that I will miss him terrible. I was granted only 6 wonderful years with him. They were the best years though. Honey, I love you so very much and I'll miss you.
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